A Lonely Wife's Survival Guide

This past weekend marked the one year date that my husband and I closed on our house.
This November we will celebrate two years of marriage.

And as of December we will have been together for a decade.

But out of all of this time together, we have spent practically the past year and a half apart. With the economy in what seems to be a never ending flush down the toilet, he didn’t have much of an option when his job relocated him to Texas for a year long project, which quickly turned into a year and a half long project.

He was informed of the move late last August. We closed and moved into our home in early September. He left a week after we moved in.

I don’t want to throw a pity party here. I’m perfectly capable of being an independent female and enjoy being such, but after standing in front of the open sky and pledging to share my life with this man, well….I would like to share it with him. He flies home about every two weeks and stays for the weekend, but between the never ending honey-do list and visiting both of our families, I find myself becoming increasingly protective of our time together.

So when I dropped him off at the airport this morning at the ungodly hour of 5 a.m., I spent my drive in to work thinking about the entire experience of being a married woman living single. So I began to compile what I like to call “The Lonely Wife’s Survival Guide” in the hopes of helping other wives take advantage of the time they have. Don’t mope around, girl. Now is the time you can do things you won’t be able to necessarily do ALL OF THE TIME when the hubby comes home.

1. In Vino Veritas! If you don’t like wine, either learn to like it or pick your poison. There aren’t many times when you can down a bottle and watch a marathon of The Bachelor without hearing someone complain.
2. Chocolate and ice cream share rule the same parameters as rule number one. If you want to eat a pint of cookies and cream, DO IT.

3. Take this time to watch all of those films that YOU have always wanted to watch but never had the time to watch. You won’t have to listen to ANYONE bitching in the background at the improbability of the hot guy picking the homely girl or snickering when you start to cry because little Simba just found his deceased father, Mufasa.

4. Eat whatever you like for dinner. If all you really want is a tub of spinach artichoke dip and some celery, knock yourself out. No one has to know, and I’ll never tell.

5. On Saturday mornings, turn up the music that YOU love full blast and dance around your living space in your underwear. Be as dorky or silly as you want to be.

6. Take advantage of private karaoke sessions in your own home/apartment/condo/loft/rental. Youtube has some great selections, and you know you’ve always wanted to hear how you sound belting out some Pat Benatar.

7. Get a dog or cat and don’t tell him about it until he gets home. Who doesn’t need a furry friend? I’m sure he’ll grow to love it! (**Note: I have a very understanding and animal-loving husband.)

8. Cook yourself a fabulous meal. Light some candles and wine and dine yourself.

9. Take frequent bubble baths. Is one a day too many? I don’t think so.

10. If you are a reader, and your DH is not, get your hands on anything with words and dig in.

11. Learn the recipe inside and out of something you have always wanted to cook.

12. You know that hobby you have always wanted to take up but never had the time? Start. Do it. Try it. Learn to play the piano, the guitar, the violin, the freakin’ harmonica if you want. Go skydiving. Learn how to noodle for catfish. Charm snakes. Bellydance. The sky is the limit!

13. Go buy some cheap Barbie dolls and test your hairdressing skills on them. I did a better graduated bob than I thought I could.

14. Garden, weed, and love your yard if you have one. If you don’t, buy some herbs and try your hand at some fresh cooking.

15. Squirrel some money away and treat yourself to a massage, a facial, a mani/pedi or something equally unnecessary but decadent.

16. Shop shamelessly.

17. Go see a movie alone. And treat yourself to some popcorn. Extra butter.

18. Invite your friends over for a ridiculous theme party. Go WAY over the top with food and decorations.

19. Get horribly addicted to those games on Facebook. Lie to yourself and say that you are just a “social” player, and that you can quit any time you want. (FYI-Quitting is harder than you think.)

20. Go to bed early and sleep in late (if you can).

I have to insert a small disclaimer here and say that my husband would be fine with me doing all of these things while he is home, but as much as I miss him, it’s nice to be able to have this level of freedom. And hey, if I wasn’t looking on the bright side, I’d be wallowing in sadness. Not a good look, my friends. Not a good look at all.

What are your methods of dealing with an out of town hubby?