A New Year

The past few weeks have been a strange combination of highs and lows. The highs? A pub and very first SALE at Fear and Trembling magazine. A lovely personal rejection note from Corvus that was so genuine and kind that it was almost as good as a pub. My review of Elyssa East's Dogtown merited an incredibly nice note from the author herself. You can find the review here, and while you are there, take some time to read through the other contributors. It's really a beautiful magazine.

The lows? Form rejections from Bete Noire, and One Buck Horror. 


Still waiting to hear about the potential life of "Hole" from Electric Spec and Niteblade. Everyday Fiction is still ruminating over "Black Water" after 76 days, but I'm being patient. I really like EF, and I'm hoping that the longer the story is out the more likely they will actually publish it.

I haven't been writing every day like I said I would, but I did manage to push out a flash piece that I REALLY love and is currently entered in a contest over at Shock Totem. With all of that said, there's this novel that I need to get back to working on.  Hopefully when I finish it, the round of Nano queries will be out, and mine will be in the fresh batch.

This is totally my year, ya'll. I don't care what the universe says.

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A Noob's Guide to the Gym

Okay. I get it. And don't get me wrong, I can appreciate ANYONE's New Year's Resolution to get in shape and take better care of him/herself. In fact I applaud you. Trust me, the past year has seen massive swings back in forth in my own exercise routine.

So, no, I have no inherent beef with anyone who takes it upon himself to go out and purchase a gym membership, but there are RULES, people.

1. If I'm on the treadmill, and there are plenty of treadmills available, please do not select the treadmill directly next to me. It's not that I have personal space issues; it's just that if I don't have to be splattered with your sweat, I'd rather not.

2. For that matter, if you are running on the treadmill, please do so at a reasonable speed or a speed that you can actually maintain. If you have to hold onto the machine, or if it sounds like an elephant is skipping across the treadmill, you are doing it wrong. Your sneakers shouldn't be scraping against the belt because you can't keep up the pace. It's distracting. Not to mention, I'll make fun of you as soon as one of us leaves. Slow it down, people.

3. I understand that I can re-start the machine by simply plugging the heart monitor back into the machine, but what you need to understand is that by the time I've made it to the gym, I'm at the lowest possible denominator of mental capacity. There are probably rocks with higher levels of brain activity. So when I get to the machine and press Quick Start, I expect the machine to start...quickly. And if it doesn't, I'm all

Seriously. I understand that all I have to do is plug the cord back in, but please understand that it would make things SO MUCH SIMPLER if you would just do it for me. 

4. WIPE DOWN THE MACHINES. The gym has these wonderful stations with paper towels and disinfectant. They put it there for a reason. No one wants to touch or be surrounded by your dirty human juice. There's no reason for you to be so dismissive/lazy that you can't haul yourself to the station and back to wipe down the machine you've just spent thirty oozing minutes on. 

5. When in the weight area, there's an order to things. If I'm in the middle of my reps, please don't HOVER by the machine like a dog that's waiting to piss. I get it. You want the machine next, but NO, it's not going to make me go any faster. Go do something else until I'm finished. 

6. Slamming the weights and/or grunting, shouting, cursing, or all of the above does not make you look hard. It makes you look like a total douche nozzle. Sometimes you might need to make a little noise to get out that last rep, but trust me, the ladies aren't impressed by your neolithic grunting. 

7. It's fine to fill up your protein shake bottle at the water fountain, but if there is a line of twenty very thirsty people behind you, please step aside. Your Muscle Milk can wait. 

8. Ladies, standing around the machinery in full make up, immaculately styled hair, and the tightest yoga pants known to man while flirting with the personal trainers isn't cute. The gym is for working out, not for finding someone to take you to Applebees on Friday night. That appletini and then banging it out in his mom's basement better be worth it.

9. If you can afford a gym membership, but you can't afford a pair of sweat pants, you need to seriously re-evaluate your priorities. Blue jeans are for Casual Fridays, not the gym. 

10. WHY ARE YOU RUNNING BAREFOOT?? There is a distinct possibility that whatever foot fungus that's hiding between your sweaty toes will somehow eat through my sneakers and infect me. Put on some damn shoes. 

Please, noobs. Get your act together and let's make the gym a pleasurable experience for everyone. 

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Tiny Creepies

Working on a new piece of flash fiction for Shock Totem. The topic is AMAZINGLY CREEPY. Seriously shit your pants kind of stuff, and I'm in that first draft stage where you vacillate between the excitement of a kid jacked up on Mountain Dew and the promise of Santa bringing a new X Box, and the despair that every writer hits during the first draft stage.

Right now I both love and hate what I've done, and I'm scared about relying on my own judgement before submitting this piece. Usually, I try to have some other writer whom I greatly respect lay eyes on it before submitting, but the deadline is the 7th, and I don't really want to put that kind of pressure on a fellow writer.

But I'm glad it's flash. I love the nature of flash fiction, the smallness of it. The potential for making every word burn.

It's bitchin stuff.

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Finding a Home for Hole

"Hole," or as I more affectionately know it "Bree's Story" is still without a home. I've gotten a fresh rejection from Bete Noire today, and I'm not going to lie, this one stung. As a magazine that claims to pride itself on providing personal rejections, it hurt to open my email and see the same old form rejection that every other publication sends. Oh well. I like the magazine very much and will try again in the future.

So the grand total comes to three with rejections from Clarkesworld and Shimmer, my dream publications. I'm waiting on One Buck Horror, Electric Spec, and Niteblade. All of them have slim publication rates, but of all of the stories I've written, I'm most proud of this one and figured I may as well shoot for the big suckers.

Still waiting to hear back from Everyday Fiction about "Black Water," and it's been out for 56 days. I know, I know, wahh, wahh, wahh, waiting to hear back is hard, but really it is.

My goal for today is to finally install Word on my Mac so that I can get back to working on Find Me Here. My goal is to have the first draft finished by February.

Happy Writing!

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