The Return

This was the weekend that my husband and I have been waiting for.  After a year of living apart and scheduling phone conversations to catch up, he finally made the sixteen hour drive from Odessa back to Atlanta permenantly.  (Or semi-permemantly.  Who knows what could happen in six months?)

And so this weekend has been strange because the past weekends when he has been home, we've raced around feverishly trying to fit in every moment of fun and necessity we could before the Monday deadline when he had to get back on a plane and fly back. 

But it's Sunday now, and I'm still trying to quell that intense desire to rush, to hurry, to get in everything we can before he leaves again.  Because tomorrow, he doesn't have to leave.  Tomorrow, he will still be here when I wake up and get ready for work.  Tomorrow, we can have our coffee together, talk while we are in the shower. 

Tomorrow, I will have help taking care of the dogs before leaving.  For that alone, I could cry from sheer relief. 

And then he will be home Monday night, and Tuesday night, and Wednesday night..., and when I think about that, I just don't know what to do with myself. 

There is a degree of sadness that I feel so overwhelmed by the fact that I get to actually live with my husband.  I don't feel that I should be in so much shock that he will physically be here when I get home, and my heart still breaks for those wives who go even longer than I have with even less communication.  I cannot say that the reasons for these absences are not worth it, but the entire situation strikes me as strangely inappropriate. 

But as I sit here typing this while he is in our driveway washing his car, I'm still marveling over the fact that he will physically be here in the coming weeks, and I'm incredibly thankful.   Thankful to have had this man by my side for the past ten years without wanting to dismember him.  Thankful for our home, which we thought would never be possible.  Thankful for our friends who have kept us sane throughout this ordeal, and whom we will repay in November with quite possibly the biggest party this house has ever seen. 

This is a rambling post, I know.  But I'm too full right now to not let some of it out.