Bob Barker Would be so Proud

I love the month of October.  Now, I know that plenty of people say things like, "Oh, October is so great!  I just really love fall!  Or "Autumn is my favorite season!" 

I respond to these people by punching them in the stomach all while screaming, "TAKE IT BACK!!! NO ONE LOVES OCTOBER AS MUCH AS MEEEE!!" 

Don't ever tell me you love October because I WILL challenge you to a fight to the death, and have I ever mentioned that I don't lose?  Because I don't.  I win at life, and that includes your measley sense of affection for my beloved month.  Just kidding.  Sort of.

Because ohmygod, what could be better than the profusion of pumpkin-flavored stuff available in October?  I MEAN EVERYTHING! FLAVOR EVERYTHING WITH PUMPKIN!!  And don't even get me started on the weather, and the color, and the breeze, and the crazy blue sky that makes me think God must have done a ton of hallucinogens and is going nuts with some finger paint in heaven, and the smell of smoke in the air, which doesn't smell good any other time of year, but for some reason is making you hot for your husband.  Like you look at your significant other and want to tear him right out of that college hoodie he is wearing.  Or the perfection that is CHILI and APPLE CIDER and RED WINE. 

You know what else is in October?  The best holiday of the year.  My countdown to Halloween starts on the 1st, and I faithfully watch every horror film on television in preperation.  And on the actual glorious night, I pray that It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!  will be on t.v. and then I pass out in a glorious sugar- induced coma. 

But this October is a little different because Ms. Savannah hit the six month mark and since we are conscientous citizens, we knew that this was the month she would need to be fixed.  I plead ignorance here because our other two dogs came to us pre-sterilized with no worries of crazy dog humping and bastard litters of puppies to be handed out for free at the local supermarket.

I had no clue exactly what the process was, but when we picked her up yesterday, I was reading through the paperwork they gave us and, ya'll.....they take out EVERYTHING.  It's a puppy hysterectomy, and while I was reading, my insides were literally squirming with a level of uncomfortable I had never experienced before.

So the past day has been an adventure in "No, don't run.  No, don't jump.  No, don't play.  No, dont bark too hard, or walk too fast, or do anything that might remotely lead to tearing your sutures because I think I might possibly come unglued and then cry so please, please, please just stay still and be quiet until everything is healed and that weird mark on your abdomen is gone because every time I look at it I get roller coaster style queasy." 

Thank goodness there is still a week till Halloween.  I don't think my love for October has been tainted....much.